February 7, 1995

19 years ago on this date, I rolled into San Antonio, Texas for the first time. It wasn't as cold as it is today, but it was foggy and damp--and at 4 a.m., it was too dark to see what lay in front of me.

I was moving with a friend, an ex-co-worker whose adopted mother lived here. I was in a dead-end job, working in marketing for a casino in Laughlin, Nevada that was in financial peril. (How awful does that look on your resume, less than two years out of college, that you handled advertising for an enterprise that was going belly up?) I had broken up with my four-year boyfriend a few months earlier, unwilling to settle for marrying in my early twenties into a family of funeral home owners.  

It was the one time in my life, that I can recall, in which I had virtually nothing to lose. It was my opportunity to try out a brand new, unfamiliar place.  I had a roommate, we had an apartment, and our furniture posessions were compatible. I had enough to pay a couple months' rent, gas up, and eat. What else did I need?

19 years later, I marvel on this life that has slowly unfolded, revealed itself like the city did as the sun arose and the fog cleared. Unknown, and rather unimpressive at first. But you have to get in it, work in it, meet people, eat and drink with friends, get lost, explore. Mind you, I had never lived in a city larger than around 30,000 people!  

And I did explore. I met my soul mate later that year and married him in 1998. I got iobs--waiting tables on the Riverwalk at first, just to make money. Then other jobs--seven different employers, two of them comprising 13 of my 19 years here.  I still have friends from nearly every job. I've had two beautiful kids here.  I've lost two loved ones since I've lived here--my sister and my son. I've hurt deeply here.  I've bought my first house here, traveled to great places from here, and witnessed the unfolding of September 11, 2001. I've experienced more fear, pain, joy, stress, laughter and awakenings here than any other place on Earth. Here.

Facebook has been celebrating its ten-year anniversary lately by culling photos and posts from everyone's pages and making individual slide shows. Besides being a bit quick, ithe videos are also a stark reminder of how little Facebook really captures the whole of our lives, due to our own self-editing. We're entitled to that. But, as I look back at my last 19 years in San Antonio, the beauty lies in the unvarnished version of this extraordinary life I've lived. Evidence lies in the many friends I have on and off Facebook, in the photos I do and do not share, the thoughts I post and the thoughts I keep to myself.  If I could build that video, it would truly be exquisite.

How blessed I am for this life.